Number 29

Last year, I gave up soda for Lent and it felt near impossible, but I did it. I rewarded myself with a giant 44 oz. Coke Zero on Easter morning.  And I promptly went back to drinking just as much soda as I did before Lent.  This year, I did something that hurt just as much but I did it and was able to cross an item off my 101in1001 list because of it.

Number 29. Go one month without fast food.

I put pretty strict guidelines on what constituted fast food too.  Fast food was any food that was not served to me by a waiter after taking my order.  So no drive-thrus, no Panera, no buying lunch in the cafeteria at work, no pizza delivery, no Chinese take-out, no Chipotle.  I did break one time and that was when I had to do an emergency baby-sitting when my sister-in-law had to rush to the ER. We ordered pizza because I was starving and we didn’t know when they would return.  But when I told anyone this, they said pizza didn’t constitute fast food in the traditional sense.

I brought lunch every day.  I would either make dinner or my husband would make dinner.  One time my husband brought home donuts and a debate ensued as to whether donuts were fast food. (We decided that they were a pastry item so they were ok.  Once they were in my house, I couldn’t say no.)

I was impressed by how long I held out.  Especially since I am a big lunch buyer.  I hate packing my lunch. I never remember to do it, I feel like it takes too long and it’s so convenient to buy a sandwich at the cafeteria.  Sometimes, I just want to escape too. Sometimes I just want to run out and buy lunch and not be at work for a little while.

I find that I’m resorting to fast food less now that Lent is over.  When I can, I bring a lunch.  We’ve both been cooking more – especially my husband. It helps that he is an amazing cook!  I find myself slipping into bad habits lately, but I think now that I recognize that I am, I can quickly remind myself that it was doable and it was easy to not resort to fast food constantly.  I guess sometimes it is good to test your willpower and see where your limits are.

Number 11

I was able to cross another item off my 101 in1001 list.

Number 11: Go to the dentist.

Most of you are probably reading this wondering why this is even on my list.  I mean, it’s not a stretch, right?  Wrong.  I haven’t been in probably 10 ten years.  The last time I went, I got my wisdom teeth out.  I haven’t had any desire to go back since.  So I skipped my first cleaning after my wisdom teeth surgery.  Somehow that turned into skipping ten years of them.

While at lunch, my coworker mentioned she hadn’t been in a really long time.  I assured her that it couldn’t be longer than me.  During this conversation, we were both lectured about going to the dentist and my one coworker would continuously remind me that I needed to make an appointment.  So one day, I finally sat down to make one.  It took a while – some back and forth message leaving between me and the office and then a three-month wait to get a weekend appointment, but both my husband and I went.

About a month ago, I went for a cleaning and exam.  I left there puzzled.  Why had I waited so long to go? That was so painless.  This past weekend, I went to go get a filling and get fitted for a mouth guard. (I grind my teeth constantly – during the day and while I sleep.  It’s stress and that certainly hasn’t been lacking in my life lately.) My cavity was so bad that it was almost a root canal so it’s a really good thing I went when I did, the dentist said.

I have an appointment set up for November for my next cleaning and in a month I go back to make sure my mouth guard fits.  All that stress for something that was so easy to take care of.  I feel like this is a constant theme in my life. I dread and put things off over and over again.  Once I have to face the things I’m dreading, they are never as bad as I thought it would be.  I just have to get off my butt and do the things I’m dreading.

Book Club

Number 24 on my 101in1001 list is to join a book club, even if I have to start one myself.  So I’ve been mulling over in my head how to go about starting one.  It seems really timely that I’ve read a few blog posts recently on book clubs.  I’ve been gathering ideas and now I’m trying to gather courage.

My big worry is that no one will come.  What if people are only interested in theory and don’t show up?  Or what if people don’t read the book and it turns into a big gossip session – which I guess there’s nothing really wrong with that but I do really want people I can’t talk about the books with!  Or what if people do come, and do read the book but hate the book I chose and then it all falls apart after that?

I just hate for it to be a failure.  But if I don’t try, then it’s sure to fail.  I guess first thing to do would be to assess actual interest from friends that are local enough to me to want to come.   Baby steps, right?

101 in 1001 Update

I have actually tackled some items on my list! I know.  I bet you couldn’t believe I would start tackling things so soon!  If you don’t believe it, you’re right.  I didn’t start it.  My husband came home one day with an EZ Pass for me.  Well one for both of us.  He set it up. He brought it into my car and put it in for me. I literally did nothing.  Except cross off number 34 from my list.  Easiest task ever.  He didn’t even know I was planning on doing it – he just did it for me.  Now the problem will be remembering that I have it and not driving through the ticket lanes at tolls.  We went to visit my family this weekend and I kept wondering why my husband was driving through the EZ Pass lanes.  Glad he remembered.

Being up at my family’s house was also my last hurrah.  Tomorrow the diet begins.  So making strides to cross number 6 (lose 25 pounds) off my list.  My brother, husband and some friends are all in a competition to see who can lose the most weight (percentage-wise to make it fair).  We’re all putting $50 in the pot and winner takes all.  Even if I don’t win, hopefully I win by being able to cross number 6 off the list.  And by looking and feeling better, not to mention living longer.  However, in celebration of our last hurrah and my brother’s birthday, I made him a cake (number 41) and frosted it with swiss meringue buttercream (number 89) which was pretty much the most incredible frosting ever. It wasn’t overly sweet, it was very buttery and it was perfect.  I even decorated the cake all fancy with a different colored frosting piped around and wrote on the cake.  Well worth our last hurrah!

Now that we don’t have any cake left, hopefully I can drop some pounds relatively soon because I may have a chance at crossing number 9 (find a new job) off my list.  I may need my interview suit soon!  I found a job I really wanted to take back in July. But being pregnant and all, I didn’t want to take it because it was a contract so I thought it would be unfair to take a contract knowing I wouldn’t be able to fulfill all the terms of the contract.  I mentioned this to the recruiter and he agreed.  Back in early November, I saw a similar posting through a different recruiter so I figured why the heck not?  I applied for the position and last week I heard back from the recruiter. It’s literally the same job and she says I sound like a good fit (even though it would be somewhat of a career change).  It’s a 1-2 year contract and even if it doesn’t turn permanent it would give me experience in a new field which I’ve been looking for.  Plus it pays a good amount more than my current job! So that helps with the fact that it’s a contract and I wouldn’t get any paid vacation time. I’m waiting to hear back if the company would like me to come in for an interview.  I’m afraid my hopes are up too high but I can’t help it.  It seems like fate that this job would come back into my life.  Please keep fingers and toes crossed and send up a prayer that this could be the opportunity I’ve been looking for! I’m so miserable in my current job.

Speaking of being miserable, I plan on heading back to the infertility support group (number 50) tomorrow.  I’m kind of excited to go this time.  Now that I know what to expect and that I know that the people there are friendly and normal, I feel better about going. I won’t be nervous at all if my husband won’t be able to come.  I know I’ll be able to handle there being on my own if necessary because it was a safe place to go and talk and vent with people who know what this life is like.

Here’s a quick recap of the items that I’m supposed to be doing on a regular basis:

12. Go to church on a regular basis. – Nope. But I do plan to start next week.

28. Practice my dog’s training for 15 minutes every day. – Nope.  I’ve been crashing on the couch every day when I get home!

41. Bake one thing each month. – DONE for December.  Made my brother a birthday cake.

70. Clean for 15 minutes every day. – No way.  See above re: crashing on couch.

80. Walk the dog every day it rain. – Nope. Couch.

82. Start taking my vitamins again. – Kind of forgot about this one. Will start tonight.

100.Update about my status for these goals at least once a week. – DONE, right here.  Hope these updates aren’t too boring for you all but I want to hold myself accountable.

My Brand New 101 in 1001 List!

Ugh, I have accidentally posted this draft like 14 times and it’s taken me forever to post this new list. I’m so glad it’s done!

Even though my last list wasn’t a smashing success, I guess it’s always good to have little mini-goals to strive for.  Maybe this year I’ll be better about completing my list  and maybe it will give me some incentive to be more active and busy to keep my mind off my sadness.  So here goes nothing!

The Mission: Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.

The Criteria: Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).

Why 1001 Days? Many people have created lists in the past – frequently simple goals such as new year’s resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organizing and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities.

Some common goal setting tips: 1. Be decisive. Know exactly what you want, why you want it, and how you plan to achieve it. 2. Stay Focussed. Any goal requires sustained focus from beginning to end. Constantly evaluate your progress. 3. Welcome Failure. It presents the opportunity to learn and makes success more worthy. 4. Write down your goals. 5. Keep your goals in sight

1. Make a pie from scratch.  Crust and all.
2. Donate our old furniture to charity.
3. Clean out our “junk” room.”
4. Clean out our basement.
5. Clean out our garage.
6. Lose 25 lbs.
7. Go apple picking.
8. Finish our covered bridge tour.
9. Find a new job.
10. Spend a day wandering around an art museum like I used to do in high school/college.
11. Go to the dentist.
12. Go to church on a regular basis.
13. Volunteer.
14. Go to the dermatologist.
15. Find a therapist I can start seeing regularly.
16. Have a horrible movies that we love anyway marathon with my brother.
17. Invite friends to stay with us.
18. Buy a fireproof box for important papers.
19. Hire a cleaning service.
20. Accept help next time I host a party in my home.
21. Have a sleepover with my best friend.
22. Decorate the outside of our house for Christmas.
23. Go to DC to see the cherry blossoms.
24. Join a book club, even if I have to start it myself.
25. Don’t complain about anything for one week.
26. Don’t use the snooze button for one week.
27. Make my husband a nice romantic, candlelit dinner.
28. Practice my dog’s training for 15 minutes every day.
29. Go one month without fast food.
30. See a movie at the Movie Tavern.
31. Write thank you cards for all gifts received.
32. Decide on a memorial for the baby.
33. Send a friend a surprise in the mail, just because.
34. Get EZPass back in my car.
35. Do Couch to 5K.
36. Then run a real 5K.
37. One day each month, pamper myself. (mani/pedi, massage, etc)
38. Find a necklace to buy to remember the baby.
39. Go to a reading/book signing.
40. Clean out my closet and donate the clothes to charity.
41. Bake one thing each month.
42. Finish watching Battlestar Galactica on DVD.
43. Buy something on Etsy.
44. Make something I found on Pinterest.
45. Throw a party!
46. Buy something fabulous at Anthropologie (after I’ve lost the weight).
47. Leave a $20 tip on a bill that is less than $20.
48. Go to a taping of Anderson. (Also, try not to go nuts when you see him.)
49. Don’t buy anything that isn’t a necessity for one month.
50. Go to support group meetings regularly (infertility, pregnancy loss and adoption as needed).
51. Repair broken jewelry.
52. Adopt a family next holiday.
53. Go to a piano bar.
54. Hang pictures in our house.
55. Buy a Roman shade for the back door so I don’t think that monsters and serial killers are standing outside it.
56. Say yes to something that would normal scare me or make me anxious.
57. Choose an adoption agency and get “paper pregnant.”
58. Have a sleepover with my friends from high school.
59. Buy a new car.
60. Take a vacation.
61. Don’t log into Facebook for one week.
62. Try five new restaurants.
63. Make a new friend.
64. Reconnect with an old friend.
65. Make sugar cookies with royal frosting.
66. Organize our kitchen cabinets.
67. Buy new wine glasses.
68. Finish the basement.
69. Take a road trip with A.
70. Clean for 15 minutes every day.
71. Use my breadmaker and ice cream maker at least once during the 1001 days.
72. Take a yoga class.
73. Spend a day at the beach with A.
74. Crochet a blanket.
75. Get my eyes checked and get contacts again – I’m sick of my glasses.
76. Take a short class in something (cake decorating, pottery, etc).
77. Clean out my pantry.
78. Try 10 new recipes.
79. Whiten my teeth again.
80. Walk the dog every day that it doesn’t rain.
81. Rearrange the furniture in our family room.
82. Start taking my vitamins again.
83. Read five non-fiction books.  (Fiction is easy for me but sometimes not the best for my brain.)
84. Transfer all my recipes to my recipe box.
85. Call the number to opt out of credit card offers.
86. Request a credit report.
87. Use the gift cards I’ve been putting off using in my wallet.
88. Send birthday cards ON TIME for people’s birthdays.
89. Make swiss meringue buttercream.
90. Paint our half bathroom.
91. Get wedding ring dipped, the white gold isn’t looking as good as it once did.
92. Catch up on my scrapbooks or make photobooks. (I think I’m behind since like 2007!)
93. Reach out to people when I learn they are dealing with infertility.
94. Repair front step.
95. Replace/repair lighting in our kitchen.
96. Replace our carpets.
97. Repaint our front door (as our association has been begging us to do).
98. Figure out what is wrong with our magnolia tree and get it blooming again.
99. Give $2 to charity for every task I don’t complete.
100. Update about my status for these goals at least once a week.
101. Make a new list for the next 1001 days.

Start date: December 5, 2011 End date: September 2,2015

101 in 1001 Summary

Well, 1001 days are over and my list is mostly untouched it seems.  I really didn’t do as well as I’d hoped probably because my major focus was on having a baby.  And I thought that was ok.  Because I thought I was going to bring a baby home in February.  And really if that was the only thing that I accomplished in 1001 days, it would have been worth it to me.

1001 days.  Almost three years.  And I still couldn’t bring a baby home.  I thought 1001 days was being generous.  Surely, I’d have a baby by then.  Unfortunately not.  And so I had to sacrifice other things to focus on that one thing and so the list didn’t get really done.

39.25 items done on the list out of 101.  That’s like 39%.  Not great.  I’m debating whether I should make a new list for the next 1001 days or whether it will end the same way.

1. Master making a pie from scratch. Crust and all.
2. Eat at a restaurant alone.
3. Scrapbook my Paris and London trips.  (Only half of Paris is crossed out because only half of it is scrapbooked.)
4. Give blood.
5. Try at least 10 new foods. (7 down, 3 to go.)
6. Paint the downstairs of the house (or have it painted).
7. Learn to bake bread.
8. Donate old furniture to charity.
9. Buy reusable shopping bags and use those at the grocery store.
10. Go to the spa and get a massage.
11. Buy 5 “just because” gifts for people.
12. Lose 25 pounds.
13. Join the gym.
14. Go apple picking.
15. Finish a crossword puzzle without any help.
16. Make dinner 5/7 times a week instead of ordering out.
17. Get a promotion.
18. Brush up on my Spanish. (Learn the basics I would need if I were to go to a Spanish speaking country.)
19. Then go to Spain. (I went to Amsterdam and Italy instead – I’m counting that.)
20. Have a margarita with N.
21. Grow an herb garden.
22. Go to Vegas.
23. Spend a day wandering around an art museum like I used to in high school/college.
24. Find a pair of jeans that fits me perfectly.
25. Go to the dentist.
26. Have a baby.
27. Plant flowers in the spring/summer and keep them alive for the season.
28. Have my girlfriends over for brunch.
29. Go to mass at least 3 Sundays out of 4 a month.
30. Read 100 books. (Not all just fluffy fiction either!!)
31. Be kind to people even when I angry with them at least three times.
32. Vote in non-presidential elections.
33. Stop taking the elevator at work.
34. Start going to the dermatologist every six months again. (I have A LOT of moles.)
35. Clean out my closet and donate all clothes that don’t fit, etc.
36. Build a snowman with A.
37. Write thank you cards for all gifts received (even if from best friends who don’t “require” a TY card).
38. Buy something fabulous at Anthropologie when I lose weight. (No matter the cost.)
39. Take my mom out for a fun day and try to avoid getting annoyed with her.
40. Pay off credit cards.
41. Buy a grill and patio set and use it regularly in the summer (hopefully enjoying the flowers I’ve planted and kept alive).
42. Have a “horrible movies that we love anyway” marathon with my brother.
43. Call home to talk to my dad instead of just my mom.
44. Invite friends to stay with us.
45. Learn how to find the Big Dipper without any help.
46. Learn how to understand the stock market.
47. Read a news website every day. (AND NOT THE ENTERTAINMENT SECTION!)
48. Go to a farmer’s market.
49. Learn to cut my cat’s nails.
50. Fix wall in bathroom.
51. Clean out garage so I can park my car in it.
52. Finish the basement.
53. Reconnect with one old friend that I’ve lost touch with.
54. Go to one book reading by an author.
55. Learn to make pierogi from scratch from my mom.
56. Get cholesterol checked.
57. Buy a fireproof box for important papers.
58. Use our fine china at least once a year.
59. Replace smoke alarms in our house.
60. Eat at four new places in Philly. (New to me, not new to the city.)
61. Improve my Polish vocabulary by reading one thing in Polish a week.
62. Accept a compliment without pointing out things that I did that weren’t right
63. Visit the Barnes Museum before it moves to Philly (if they are still planning to move it, well visit it either way).
64. Bring champagne next time a friend has great news to celebrate.
65. Try absinthe.
66. Find a way to display A’s shot glass collection.
67. Use my silicone bakeware. Don’t be afraid, just take the plunge.
68. Have the courage to speak up next time someone is saying something unPC.
69. Spend one weekend without any internet access at all.
70. Do a 5K walk/run and raise money for it. (Raise at least $200 for it – it’s my 1st one so I don’t know how much to expect so I’ll start slow.)
71. No snooze button for one week.
72. Buy one piece of art.
73. Have the mole on my scalp removed. (Have been too scared to do this for a while.)
74. See Wicked on Broadway.
75. Go to a concert with A.
76. Start a new family tradition with A.
77. Get my wedding band re-dipped. (It’s white gold.)
78. Get all broken chains fixed by jeweler.
79. Start replacing our lightbulbs with energy efficient ones.
80. Take a bubble bath.
81. Request my credit report.
82. Unpack those last 5 or 6 boxes that have been stuffed in a closet since we moved in to our house.
83. Take a makeup lesson.
84. Play mini-golf, unsarcastically.
85. Go to the Hershey spa. (I’ve had a gift card forever. It’s probably losing money by now.)
86. Buy two extra umbrellas and keep them stashed at work and in my car
87. Ask to speak to a manager to compliment good service rather than to complain.
88. Decorate every cake I make, even if it’s just a cake I made for us to snack on.
89. Go to an Oktoberfest. (I went to two beer festivals. I’m counting it. )
90. Go to a music festival.
91. Call the number to opt out of credit card offers.
92. Get a pedicure once a month during sandal season.
93. Sew the button back onto my bright pink coat. (Learn how to properly sew a button first.)
94. Send my grandmother some money.
95. Go to DC to see the cherry blossoms.
96. Spend a day without speaking.
97. Decorate outside of house for Christmas.
98. Buy/make curtains for the bedroom.
99. Get fitted for a bra. Oprah says I’m wearing the wrong size.
100. Master eating with chopsticks.
101. Make a new list of 101 things to do in the next 1001 days.

Start date: January 10, 2009
End date: October 8, 2011

1001 days are up

My 101 in 1001 list is over.  It was over at the beginning of the month. I didn’t want to deal with it because number 26, have a baby, remains uncrossed.  I actually thought about it for a while before I lost him.  I was thinking how even though he wouldn’t be born before the date is over, I could still cross it off because I was pregnant and I was almost there.

Now, I wonder whether I actually can cross it off.  Even though he was never born, I had a baby.  I carried him for five months.  I have his pictures on my fridge still.  We named him even though we never saw him.

I read a quote that really spoke to me:

Say not in grief ‘he is no more’ but live in thankfulness that he was.

I’ll post an update on my list soon – maybe even later today.  And when I do, number 26 will be crossed off.

Pay off Credit Cards

40. Pay off credit cards.

We are credit card debt free!  In the future, we plan to use one card that earns us airline miles.  We plan on using it in place of our debit cards and paying it off every month so that we can earn miles for our trips!  I can’t tell you how freeing this feels.   I always felt guilty for our debt.  Not for my mortgage and car payment because I felt those were necessary evils but  for our credit card debt.  It was like our constant punishment for overspending. And now that we are out of it, I feel great.  We still have one credit card that has debt on it but it is interest free and we are on target for having that paid off before the interest free part runs out.  In fact, I think we’ll beat it by a few months.  I’m so happy to have this one marked off the list!

And I’m doing my best to resist the urge to celebrate by buying myself something pretty.

Call home to talk to my dad instead of just my mom.

43. Call home to talk to my dad instead of just my mom.

I haven’t been exactly doing this.  But then again, my dad and I have never been big talkers.  So, in the spirit of this list item, I have been trying to communicate with my dad more.  I got him on Facebook and he is my Facebook friend now.  He comments on my wall which I think is just adorable.  

Also, ever since I got the dog, we have been texting and emailing more because he likes to ask questions about the puppy.  I think he really is an animal guy at heart but we never got a pet because my mom didn’t want one.  He’s always asking about the puppy.  Even though we’re not talking on the phone, we are communicating more than ever.  I know that makes him happy.  Especially now that he has the iPad.  I email him pictures of the puppy and he really likes that.  Then he can show my mom what I emailed him and is impressed that he can show my mom something instead of her always telling him about me.

I know that there are blogs dedicated to being upset that your parents can email or text or Facebook.  And yeah, I definitely think a little bit more about what I post on Facebook now that my dad is my friend.  All my little cousins are my friends too.  But they are in high school and college now so they are not so little anymore.  But I get a kick of him being on there and seeing the pictures I post and being able to know the little things that are going on instead of just the broad strokes. It cracks me up now when he asks how the cake I bake turned out. Or how my lunch with a friend was.  These are things that he never would have known about before because I just wouldn’t have mentioned them in an occasional conversation.

Eat at four new places in Philly.

60. Eat at four new places in Philly. (New to me, not new to the city.) (2 down, 2 to go.)

I ate at Amada recently, which is a tapas restaurant from the new Iron Chef, Jose Garces.  The food was amazing.  I ate there at lunch and they had an “express lunch” so we did that instead of tapas.  It was a choice of either a soup and salad or a soup and sandwich.  I chose a soup and sandwich combo and it was heavenly.  I started with the tomato gazpacho with avocado ice cream.  It was made with yellow tomatoes and was very flavorful.  The avocado ice cream in the middle of the soup was the perfect complement. I could have eaten two bowls of that instead of the sandwich.  But then the sandwich came.  Oh. The sandwich.

I chose the skirt steak sandwich with caramelized onions, blue cheese and tomato. It was a perfect combination.  The onions and blue cheese were perfect with the steak and the bread was crusty but not too crusty.  It came with fries with a spicy sauce but I barely touched those because the sandwich was so good.  And of course this meal wouldn’t be complete without a glass of sangria. (Spell check doesn’t recognize sangria.  I think spell check leads a sad sad life.)

My friend and I decided to split a dessert  since we were full and couldn’t finish a whole one by ourselves.  We split a dark chocolate custard with berries and raspberry sorbet. It was like a mini creme brulee but not in a ramekin and it was dark chocolate.  The top was caramelized and it was in a berry sauce which I could have eaten with just berries alone. I was really happy with our meal there. I would gladly go back for the tapas for dinner!

The second restaurant I tried was more of a fast food place and it was a chain but I’m counting it.  We hit Bobby Flay’s Burger Palace for lunch.  It was great.  The only issue is that it’s on a college campus so it’s bound to be crowded during the school year which is a shame.  I had the Crunchburger which was a burger with double american cheese and potato chips.  I didn’t even add ketchup. It didn’t need it.  The burger was moist and flavorful and WHY DID I NEVER THINK OF ADDING CHIPS TO BURGERS BEFORE?  This idea is sheer genius.  We also split an order of fries and onion rings and there were a variety of condiments on the table.  My husband is all about sauces so he loved that. 

We also split a black and white milkshake because milkshakes fill me up so much that I never want my meal afterwards.  Mistake. HUGE mistake.  I should have gotten my own.  One of the best milkshakes ever. It was thick and creamy and topped with homemade whipped cream.  I could have had four of them.  I will definitely go back here.  I’ll just have to work around when the students are on break!