NIAW

In honor of National Infertility Awareness Week, I posted the following status on Facebook last night: April 22-28 is National Infertility Awareness Week. Infertility is a heart-wrenching, faith-questioning, relationship-testing, life-altering, finance-draining experience that affects 1 in 8 couples. Please consider supporting the Family Act and the Adoption Tax Credit. (Most of the wording stolen from here.) And I added a link to Resolve’s website where they posted how to get in touch with your Congressman.

This is pretty much about as out as I’ve come about our infertility problems.  I alluded to it in our pregnancy announcement but my husband didn’t want me to straight up say it because he didn’t want me to dwell on the bad while announcing the good.  I’ve only gotten good responses: positive comments and likes.  I don’t know quite what I thought would happen.  I imagined my mother getting angry because certain things should be private.  I imagined people saying that infertility isn’t really a disease.  As usual, my imagination is so much worse than reality.

Stopping the world

I was set to make a blog comeback.  To start writing again.  But I’m still so saddened by what happened to Mo that I just can’t.

When I lost my baby boy and I was in the hospital, I felt like the world had stopped.  And then I left and logged onto Facebook and email and blogs and realized that the world hadn’t stopped.  It kept right on turning even though I felt like it had stopped.  I didn’t understand.  How could everyone else go on when I was in so much pain?

So I’m stopping my world, or at least my blog world.  So that Mo can have someone stopped with her for company.  It’s not much but maybe it will bring her some comfort to know that I’m there with her.

My heart is breaking

I was going to post today.  I was going to post that I’m feeling a little less bitter and a little less angry with the universe.  I’m glad I didn’t because the universe doesn’t deserve it.  I’m more angry, more bitter and the universe can suck it.

Mo who has gone through so much to get pregnant with her baby boy is losing him at 22 weeks.  How unfair.  How staggeringly unfair.  I can’t even describe how I felt when I read this.  I had to pause to catch my breath because I was so saddened for Mo.

Please stop by and lend your love and support if you haven’t already.