Looking into a crystal ball

14 Jul

When we were in college, a friend and I used to go to a psychic every once in a while.  It was just for fun.  We’d get a palm reading because it was the cheapest thing and we’d never dream of taking it seriously.  Afterwards, we’d giggle about the color of our auras or whatever else she had told us.  But every time I went, I always hoped that she would tell me something life changing and that it would all come true.

I still think about it sometimes.  Going to a psychic to see what she would tell me.  Hoping that I’d learn when I’ll get pregnant.  Just knowing when it will happen would make it so much easier – it would make the wait so much more bearable.  Just having the knowledge that it will happen would make it all easier. 

I’ve taken to petitioning the Online Magic 8 Ball repeatedly with the “Am I pregnant this month?” question.  (This month, I got an “Absolutely” on the first try so I stopped asking.  Why question Fate when it’s so on my side?)

It’s just so frustrating to think about all this all the time.  And as much as I try to focus on other things, it’s always there in the back of my mind.  I think constantly about whether my headache is just a headache, or could it be a pregancy symptom?  I know one day all these worries will seem silly but right now they are always there and I wish I had a crystal ball that could tell me I have nothing to worry about.


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