Just Because

26 Aug

I love the Hallmark store. I am a Gold Crown member and I buy a ton of cards.  You should see my pile for Mother’s Day – I buy every freaking person I know a card!  And my favorite part of the store used to be the “just because” section where there were all those sappy “because we’re friends” cards or funny “hey remember when…” cards.  I used to love to browse through those cards and think oh my gosh, so and so would LOVE this card.

Yesterday, I was looking through these cards in the CVS while I was waiting for a prescription to be filled.  And while I loved many of the cards, I was having a hard time thinking of people to buy them for.  And I started to realize that I just don’t have as many friends as I used to. 

Where did they go?

Okay, that’s dumb. I know where they went.  They had kids.  They became doctors with insane on call schedules.  They moved away. They married guys with extensive networks of friends so that they hang out with those people more.  In some cases, they just drifted away.

But for the first time in my life, they haven’t been replaced by the new crop of friends. There was no major transition like from high school friends to college friends. Or from college friends to new work friends in whatever new city you’re living in.  Up until I was laid off, I was at the same job for a while.  I’ve been living in my house for a long time.  There’s nowhere to make these new friends. I don’t have a kid so it’s not like I can make new mommy friends. 

I knew this would happen eventually.  And it’s not like I don’t have friends.  I have a really close friend from high school that I talk to all the time and even though we live over an hour away from each other, we see each other a lot.  I have my sister-in-law who I hang out with constantly.  I have a college friend who I email all the time even though we live four hours away from each other.  I have a friend that I meet for dinner once a month and we talk about everything (but oddly enough, that’s it – once a month and never more than that.)  I have friends.  But I don’t have that “drop by for coffee” type thing that my mom had growing up.  And that it would appear that some of my friends have, especially based on Facebook status updates. 

I don’t have that whole Sex and the City group of friends that tv insists I should have.  Is that normal? I can’t tell.  I used to always have a group of friends – sure that group changed a lot over the years and people have filtered in and out.  But now, it’s like I have all these separate people I’m close to and no group.  Is that what happens in your 30s?  My mom always had a ton of family around and those were her friends – her sisters were always around.   They knew what was going on with each other.  They did coffee drop bys.  And they’d hang out together all the time.

I guess I just feel like it’s another thing that is changing as I’m growing up. I hate change.  But I didn’t even realize it was changing until  I was standing in that CVS.

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One Response to “Just Because”

  1. Stella M. August 28, 2010 at 9:50 am #

    Oh, I love the Hallmark stores as well. I know I can buy birthday cards in my country but still: Hallmark cards are just unparalleled, in my opinion.
    I think that having the SATS group of friends is pretty uncommon. I guess it mostly happens on TV. Otherwise you have to be super lucky to find the right persons among co-workers, neighbours and, maybe, acquaintances.
    Ps. Anyway, my favourite was crazy lady Samantha. So funny. 🙂

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