Drifting Away

7 Feb

On The Happiness Project website, there was a great post about drifting.  Below is the quiz that was posted on the site:

__ I often have the peculiar feeling that I’m living someone else’s life, or that this isn’t my “real” life, which hasn’t yet begun.
__ I often think, “This situation can’t go on,” but then it does go on.
__ I spend a lot of time daydreaming about a completely different life as an escape from what I’m doing now.
__ I find myself getting very angry if someone challenges the values that I think I’m working toward. (E.g., working like crazy as a fifth-year associate at a law firm, and furious if someone argues that money and security aren’t important.)
__ I complain about my situation, but I don’t spend much time trying to figure out ways to make it better. In fact…
__ I fantasize that some catastrophe or upheaval will blow up my situation. I’ll break my leg or get transferred to another city.
__ I find myself having disproportionate reactions. (For example, I have a friend who wasn’t admitting to herself that she wanted to be an actor, and she decided to give it a shot after she started crying when someone started talking about acting.)
__ I feel like other people or processes are moving events forward, and I’m just passively carried along.
__ I find myself doing or getting something because the people around me are doing it or want it.
__ There is something in my life about which I used to be passionate, but now I never allow myself to indulge in it. In fact, it makes me uncomfortable even thinking about it.
__ I’ve justified certain actions on my part by assuring myself, “I might as well,” “It can’t hurt,” “This might be useful,” “This will keep my options open,” “I can always decide later,” “I can always change my mind,” “Nothing is forever,” “How bad can it be?” “How can I turn down this opportunity?”

I answered yes to every question.  I feel like I don’t want to do what I’m doing job wise and I keep doing it because it’s what my degree is in and it’s what I have experience in.  I don’t know how to move into something different and I don’t even know what something different that I would want to do is. 

And even if I do stay in my current field and current job (which I might not much of a choice about given the economy right now) there are definitely steps I can take to change my life at work but I don’t.  And instead I’m just drifting along hoping that someone else will change my situation.  Or that I’ll get fired and won’t have to think about it anymore.  Or that I’ll get pregnant and the hubs will let me stay at home (even though I don’t really want to stay at home, nor is it feasible for us financially). 

I think my biggest problem in life is that I usually know what I should do but am just waiting to be forced to do it!


2 Responses to “Drifting Away”

  1. Erin W February 8, 2011 at 9:15 am #

    I think a lot of people out there are drifting–in fact, I think it might be sort of a default state.

    This is something I’ve been working on myself since I graduated. I want to go back to school but, among other things, I’ve got to get a lot more money in the bank first. I spend a lot of time thinking about when I get to apply again and when I get to move and when I get to put my academic hat back on and everything, because I want to make sure it doesn’t all get relegated to the mythical “someday.” But then I have a hard time living in my present.

    Bottom line is, being able to actively work toward something while trying actively to make my present meaningful is a trick I haven’t mastered yet. But I try.

    (By the way, thanks for putting me in the blogroll!)

  2. chon February 13, 2011 at 5:59 pm #

    Hey Anna just wondering how you are going with this IUI – how many DPO?

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