Fear

12 Jun

I think my symptoms are going away.  My husband says I’m nuts but I’m afraid they are.  My boobs just aren’t as big as they were.  And I think my acne is clearing up a bit.

I’m so scared that this means something – like that is a sign my hCG levels are going down.  He says I’m crazy but I can’t help but believe it’s true.  We told our families.  I feel like we’ve jinxed ourselves by doing that. 

I’m about 50% sure this is all in my head but the other 50% is terrified.

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3 Responses to “Fear”

  1. FCblacksheep June 12, 2011 at 9:59 am #

    Deep breaths dear. The only really symptoms I had (that I actually recognized) occurred right before my BFP and in the first few days. The rest of the first trimester I felt pretty much normal. It wasn’t until the second that I realized I’d actually had some upset stomach/food aversion things going on. And actually most of the symptoms (from what I read) don’t really start until about 7/8 weeks (they didn’t for me) so if you’re not feeling anything classic just yet, that’s normal.

    I think you’re just fine. But it’s so normal to be freaked about it all right now. Lord knows I was. I don’t think I actually started to feel somewhat calm until I had a few doctor appointments and they found a heartbeat each time. And i still have moments of freak out “my bump is shrinking.” I know it’s so hard to do but you have to take a leap of faith here and believe everything is alright until you have reason to believe otherwise.

    That little baby of yours is a fighter and he or she proved that by slowly digging in deep. When’s your next appointment? If you get really nervous or something happens, you can always call the doctor and ask to come in.

  2. Mo June 12, 2011 at 10:08 am #

    I second blacksheep! You are probably fine, there’s no such thing as “jinxing”, and if you feel uncomfortable – then insist on a Dr.’s appt, and a beta follow up.
    Better to be a “difficult” patient than not listen to your body. Do what you have to for peace of mind.
    But again – I’m sure you’re fine. When I was miscarrying – I knew it. And it had nothing to do with symptoms – those kept on going strong. It’s normal for things to shift sometimes.
    Just do what you need to do to keep calm. If that means going to a Dr – so be it!
    hang in there!

  3. Chon June 12, 2011 at 10:20 pm #

    I second Mo, I knew something went wrong and trust me when I say that when the symptoms go, they go. There was no 50% situation with me. Enjoy every second you can. As with falling pregnant we can’t wish it on us, we can only do what our bodies will allow us to do. So go crazy for me, look up baby sites, buy a little onesie and relish every second because you deserve to enjoy it. Xxx

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