Remembering

4 Nov

We didn’t get his remains.  He was never really born.  His body was medical waste.  So we never got to hold him.  And we never got to take him home.  We don’t get to bury him.  We don’t get to scatter his ashes.   But he must be remembered in some way.

We’re thinking of a park bench in his memory in a park down the street from our house.  It’s the park I would have taken him for walks in had he been born.  There’s also the option of a stone paver in a park that is further away from us.  I like the idea of it being down the street from our house.  I can visit the park and remember him more often and regularly.  And hopefully his little brother or sister will go on walks in that park one day.

My husband is thinking of a tattoo at some point down the road.  I considered it as well.  Although, I’m not sure I can take any more pain.  And he’s already a permanent part of me.  I’ve been looking for a necklace but I haven’t found the right thing yet.  I was hoping it would say his name but I haven’t found anything I loved.  And sometimes I find something I like but it has angel wings on it or tiny feet.  I don’t want it to be quite so obvious.  I don’t want everyone who sees it to know exactly what it is.  But I don’t want it to look just like a regular mom necklace either because I don’t want people to assume he’s my little boy still alive and at home.  I’m not sure what I want exactly.  I’m hoping that when I find it, I’ll know.

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4 Responses to “Remembering”

  1. Creating a rainbow November 4, 2011 at 9:31 pm #

    I had the same issue finding something perfect…and not obvious but still with immense meaning…I found it here: http://www.etsy.com/listing/56934981/pod-of-life-baby-loss-memorial-necklace. And then I added a small additional pendant with the letter of her name “L” to make it a little more personal. Thought this might inspire you a little. I cherish my necklace.

  2. Chon November 5, 2011 at 2:16 am #

    My friend bought me an angel for Xmas and I planted a tree. Whilst my loss in no way compares to your pain remembering in this way let’s me know they existed for a small time xxx

  3. Alissa November 5, 2011 at 11:37 pm #

    I am looking for something too. I got a necklace from my mom, but I wanted something a bit less obvious as well so I don’t get a ton of questions.

    I will let you know as soon as I find something.

    I am also making a memory book of anything and everything I have for them, including ultrasounds.

  4. Erin November 6, 2011 at 5:49 pm #

    I think the park bench is a lovely idea. I guess the only potential ‘drawback’ if you could call it that would be if you were to move away, but the same could be said for planting a tree or rose bush or whatever. It would be sweet to be able to take his brother/sister to that park. Best of luck finding a necklace, I am sure you will find the perfect one for you to remember your precious baby.

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