2011 Year in Review

27 Dec

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?

Got pregnant. Stayed overnight in the hospital. Lost a baby.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Not really.  Everything kind of took a backseat to pregnancy and then grief.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

My sister-in-law.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

My baby boy.

5. What countries did you visit?

None. Stayed in the good old US of A this year.  We are planning a trip for early next year though.

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?

For my baby to still be alive.  And for peace.

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

May 11th – the day of my IUI that stuck.

May 25th – the day I learned that I was kinda sorta pregnant.

September 12th – the day I learned I was having a boy.

September 27th – the day my baby died.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Living through a loss I never thought I could survive. For so long while we were trying, my husband would say I just hope once you get pregnant, nothing happens and you don’t miscarry because you wouldn’t be able to take it.  Something much worse happened and I took it.  I’m still alive.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Losing him.  I know it wasn’t my fault.  But my body failed him.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Preeclampsia.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Maternity clothes. For a while I thought I’d never wear those and for a little while I did.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Third year in a row: my husband’s.  He never left my side in the hospital. I could not have dealt with any of this without him.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

A friend that didn’t call while I was the hospital and then wondered why I wasn’t responding to the text she wrote me for my birthday.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Mortgage, bills, fertility treatments.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

My pregnancy.

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?

Adele – Rolling in the Deep

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?

Sadder, same, same.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Enjoying life instead of living in fear.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Worrying. Stressing. Crying.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

Christmas Eve with my family. Christmas Day at my sister-in-law’s.

21. Did you fall in love in 2011?

Yes. All over again with my husband.

22. What was your favorite TV program?

My new favorite this year is Once Upon a Time.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

No.

24. What was the best book you read?

Hmmm…. I can’t even remember what I read this year!  Bossypants by Tina Fey and Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? by Mindy Kaling were both funny reads.  I know I read a lot when I was on disability but I don’t remember any of it.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Nothing sticks out this year.

26. What did you want and get?

I got pregnant.

27. What did you want and not get?

My baby.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

I have no idea. I don’t even remember what came out this year.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

My yearly dinner at my favorite Mexican place.  33.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Does anyone want to guess my answer to this?

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?

Comfort.

32. What kept you sane?

My husband.  My family. My friends. My husband. My dog.  My therapist.  My husband.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

No one new this year – same old faves. John Hamm, John Krasinski, Anderson Cooper, Ryan Gosling, etc etc etc

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

Who can care about politics right now?

35. Who did you miss?

My baby.  God, this is repetitive.  And I hate that I keep just calling him my baby but I don’t want to share his name here.

36. Who was the best new person you met?

I don’t know.  The nurses at the hospital.  The women at the support group.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.

I have an amazing group of people who love and care about me.  I am lucky to be so loved.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

So can you understand why I want a daughter while I’m still young?  I wanna hold her hand and show her some beauty before this damage is done.  But if it’s too much to ask, if it’s too much to ask, then send me a son. – Arcade Fire

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One Response to “2011 Year in Review”

  1. janet December 27, 2011 at 11:47 am #

    Oh, I love that song lyric. ❤

    Where are you guys headed for your trip? I want to live vicariously… 🙂

    I'm sorry that loss brought us together in 2011 but I appreciate your friendship and support.

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