Odds and Ends

8 Mar

I think I’m doing better.  The number one indication is that I want to shop.  I bought four pairs of shoes in three days and am already planning pairs five and six.  I want to go to the outlets this weekend.  I got a pedicure.  The fact that I have the energy to do these things is a big change. It almost feels like I can start planning for better times.  I don’t know if that makes sense.  Before, I didn’t want to shop because I didn’t see a point.  I wasn’t going to do anything with my new clothes because I didn’t want to leave my couch much less my house.  Now, I’m willing to accept that there might be a point in time that I will leave my couch and will leave my house and I’ll want to look pretty doing it.

We haven’t made any progress on the adoption front.  We met with three agencies total.  Now we need to decide whether we want to meet with more or whether we’re ready to make a decision.  We are going slowly with this.  I think we both need time to get back to ourselves before moving forward.  We want to make sure that we are ready to go full steam ahead when we start.  We’re thinking of taking a vacation and taking some time to get us back to being happy.

Obligatory weigh in on PAIL.  If this had been implemented while I was still pregnant last year, would I have joined?  Probably not.  I never joined the Stirrup Queens blogroll.  I can understand people feeling as if they don’t have a place that they fit, though.  But I guess my person feeling is that while I am having an identity crisis (see my Stuck post), I don’t feel like my blog ever does.  Maybe it’s because I started my blog didn’t start as an IF blog.  It’s a blog about my life.  My infertility is a huge part of my life.  When I was pregnant, my pregnancy was a huge part of my life, so it was what I wrote about.  When I lost him, my blog became about my dealing with that loss.  When we pursue adoption, I will write about adoption and when I become a mother, I plan on writing about motherhood.  Yes, my readership may change as I entire these different stages in my life.  And not everyone I read is in the same stage.  Some are mothers and some got there after infertility and some didn’t, just as some have babies and some are the mothers of college students.  Some are 25-year-old women who just got married and have no thoughts of having kids and post pictures of awesome things they buy.  And as I change, my reading of their blogs might change as well.  So no, I most likely wouldn’t have joined but I see why others have and don’t see why there isn’t room for two blogrolls out there.

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3 Responses to “Odds and Ends”

  1. FCblacksheep March 8, 2012 at 9:16 pm #

    I’m going to look like a total stalker, but timing was such I happened to read this as soon as you posted. I was thinking about you today. Outlets and a pedi sound nice. So does a vacation. And nothing is wrong with going slow. Thinking of you.

  2. robin March 8, 2012 at 11:25 pm #

    I think I must have missed a post somewhere because I didn’t realize you were pursuing adoption. That must be a hard transition to make. I think it’s a great idea to take a moment to gather yourselves before starting a new and difficult journey. Glad you feel like shopping again, that’s always a good sign 🙂

  3. Living our Life in Cycles March 9, 2012 at 2:03 pm #

    I think it’s smart of you two to take your time and move slow as you peruse adoption. It’s definitely a change and getting back to yourself is important too. I’m glad you’re getting back out there. I want a pedi so bad!

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