Day 3 and counting

28 Jun

Last Friday was my last day at my job.  It was happier and still harder than I thought it would be.  When I left my last job, I had been laid off from a job I loved.  When I walked out that door and shut off the lights, I felt so sad and nostalgic.  Turning in my badge and laptop on Friday, all I felt was a desire to get to happy hour.

Happy hour was great but complicated. A coworker and I became close friends when I started working at this company.  I thought she had become one of my closest friends.  She was one of the few people I was in touch with when I was losing my baby.  Recently, we started working on a project together and she backed off and we weren’t as close.  We kept drifting further and further and she was very cold to me when she saw me. I didn’t know what I had done but I figured it was her loss.  The day I gave notice, I tried to find her to tell her in person but she wasn’t available. She wasn’t available the next day either so I texted her knowing that she had already heard.  Our “conversation” seemed normal but then we didn’t really speak again after that.  On my last day, she came over to my desk to get some paperwork and said she wasn’t sure she’d be able to make it to happy hour.  I said that was ok and that seemed to be the end.

Except that it wasn’t.  She did show up at happy hour but I didn’t see her for the first twenty minutes she was here.  Then I looked over to my left for a minute and realized that down further at the bar was a group of people from my company.  There was another party separating our groups.  Their group was smaller and included a former coworker.  When she got to the bar someone told her where I was standing.  She opted to go to their group instead.  Then she walked over to me on her way out and said (and I quote), “Hello and goodbye.  Good luck.”  Um, thanks?

So then I promptly bitched about for it for fifteen minutes.  Until my friend said, “Who cares?  Why are you complaining about her instead of enjoying your time with all the people who are here for you?”  I realized she was right.  I tend to focus on the negative and not enjoy the positive.  I was complaining about four people on the other side of the bar instead of enjoying myself with the twenty plus people on my side of the bar celebrating my new job.  So I turned my attitude around and enjoyed the rest of the night.

I started my new job on Tuesday.  As of day three, I’m not ready to run away screaming which is a vast change from day three at my last job. I’m trying to maintain my positive attitude and focus on the positive.  That’s hard when I’m scared out of my mind!  I think I’m going to like it here.  It’s a very small company but the people are nice.  My job is going to be a huge change from what I’ve been doing for the past twelve years.  There will be a lot I have to learn and I’m terrified of letting people down.  I’m choosing to believe that they would not have chosen me if I didn’t have the right background and whatever I don’t know I can learn.

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One Response to “Day 3 and counting”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Consolation « Supposed to be my symphony - August 1, 2012

    […] My coworker who was weird at my happy hour is pregnant.  Why am I not surprised?  I suspected as much before I left but then promptly forgot about it after I started my new job.  She hadn’t been in touch with me so I just wrote it off. […]

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