At least this September is different

12 Sep

I’m grateful for small things.  One of those things is that this September is very different.

This time last year it was hot.  I was wearing short-sleeved shirts and flip-flops whenever possible.  The flip-flops were a must because my feet were so swollen.  At the time, I thought that was normal.  It was hot, I was pregnant and I ate a lot of salt.  In retrospect, that was sign number one of the preeclampsia.  I called the doctor to tell them but they didn’t seem concerned.  At the time, I was 18 weeks pregnant.  Preeclampsia doesn’t hit until 20 weeks.  It didn’t even seem like an issue.

I remember going into the hospital in a t-shirt and jeans.  My mother-in-law brought me a hoodie to the hospital because it had turned cold.  I left the hospital and it crushed me.  It felt like fall, my favorite time of year, and all I wanted to do was die.

This year, it’s been cooler even now.  It feels like fall earlier.  I’ve been walking the dog in the morning feeling like fall is coming.  This September has a completely different feeling and for that I’m grateful.  It’s making it a little easier to get through the month.  Not easy. Just more bearable.


2 Responses to “At least this September is different”

  1. Alissa September 12, 2012 at 9:09 pm #

    Fall has a whole different feeling for me too. It used to be about birthdays and pretty colored leaves…this year it is more about loss. What we lost overshadows everything else. I will be remembering my twins next month while trying to stay positive for this new baby. I am glad some things are helping you feel just a little different this fall – like you said, it’s the little things.

  2. amourningmom September 12, 2012 at 9:48 pm #

    Different weather helps me too. I very often want it to rain on my sadder days. Just like so many things we are not in control of the weather. Sending hugs and hope.

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