Planning for a future that never was

7 Oct

Someone posed a question on The Vine asking what to do about an upcoming wedding.  You see, she is a bridesmaid in a wedding and she’s trying to get pregnant and has been for some time now.  She is doing some treatments (vague on the type) and anticipates that she will be pregnant by the wedding and wanted to know what she should do about ordering the dress.

I remember those days.  I remember planning for my future baby.  I decided to take a job I hated because I was sure I would be pregnant soon and we would need the money for the baby.  I stayed in a job I hated while I was pregnant because I was sure I would be on maternity leave soon.  I said no to plans months in advance because I was sure I’d be too pregnant to do things.  I had debated going back to school and decided not to pursue it further because I didn’t want to be in school while pregnant and raising a child.  For the last five years, I planned my life around a baby that never came.

I have stopped doing that or am attempting to stop anyway.  I decided to take my new job despite the fact that I knew we would be adopting and that I would have to re-explain our whole issue to a new company and find a way to get the time off to deal with the adoption needs.  I took the job despite the fact that it involved travel, which will be difficult for a newborn.  And somehow, it has all still worked out.  My boss is fine with giving me the time I need to take care of our adoption appointments.  Right now, I’m enjoying the travel (when it’s not during a terrible week personally) and I will figure out what to do when there is a baby to work around.

I am learning to make my decisions based on the now and not on the future.  The future has a funny little way of never working out as planned.


2 Responses to “Planning for a future that never was”

  1. Erin October 8, 2012 at 8:41 am #

    Yup totally get it. The last 2 years all plans have revolved around what if we get pregnant… especially my job. Kudos to you for trying to change that.

  2. brooke October 8, 2012 at 10:30 am #

    You said all of this so well. For those of us who like to plan, it’s a hard habit to break. And sometimes I’m still pissed my really wonderful plans didn’t work out as they should have. I still have an impulse to plan, but mostly I try to stay in the present. The future will work itself out and I won’t be able to really control it anyway.

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