29 Dec

In late July/early August of 2011, I made a trip to Motherhood Maternity.   It seemed too early for me to need new pants but I was bloated and puffy and the Bella Band and hair tie tricks were causing me to moon people.  So off I went.  While checking out, they put all my information into the computer and signed me up for a free trial of Parenting magazine.

It’s been over a year since I lost the baby, and the magazines still keep coming.  I unsubscribed from the Baby Center updates.  I emailed the lady back that kept bombarding with cord blood banking emails.  I waited out the free formula samples.  But the magazine came with automatic re-subscription, it would appear.  Because it just keeps on coming.

It’s been over a year and I have not been able to bring myself to call these people and say my baby is dead, I don’t need your magazine.  I just can’t bring myself to do it.   I don’t know why. It’s not like I haven’t told hundreds of people that my baby is dead.  My entire Facebook feed knows after all.  But I just can’t call them to ask them to cancel the subscription.

Instead, Parenting magazine comes to my house month after month.  It goes immediately into the trash after wrecking my day.  I’m not quite sure why I do this to myself.


12 Responses to “Parenting”

  1. Alicia December 29, 2012 at 12:28 pm #

    What a poignant post. Hugs.

    • Anna December 29, 2012 at 8:22 pm #

      Thank you.

  2. Erin W December 29, 2012 at 2:37 pm #

    You should read it. I’m serious. I can’t imagine how painful it is, but I imagine it will become less so over time. Not to mention that you may very well still raise a child.

    I wonder if maybe some secret part of yourself thinks you “don’t get to” read the magazine, don’t get to choose sides on parenting strategies, or file away ideas for cute baby bedrooms. I think you have every right, so go for it.

    (But if you really really can’t, you should find someplace to donate them and then just forward the subscription. Who needs that grief? You have plenty already.)

    Happy holidays.

    • Anna December 29, 2012 at 8:24 pm #

      I tried to read it once and couldn’t do it. Last month I tore out the four pages that contained a Christmas shopping guide and used those to help me buy gifts for godkids, but that’s as far as I’ve gottnen. You’re right, though. I’m going to be a parent eventually so there’s no reason for me to throw it out. I could be reading it every month but I just haven’t been able to bring myself to do so.

  3. Wannabemom December 29, 2012 at 3:42 pm #

    Because there is a piece of you that retains the hope that someday you will stop recycling them.

    I signed up for all the motherhood maternity stuff too and a couple of weeks ago, I got formula in the mail. Sucked. My husband went in there after we lost Abby to tell them to take us off the mailing list but obviously something slipped thru the cracks.

    • Anna December 29, 2012 at 8:25 pm #

      The formula is the worst. And last year I had the brilliant idea to use a formula box to pack up some ornaments. I guess I thought I’d totally be over this by this time this year. Yeah, I wasn’t and seeing that box made me hate 2011 me!

  4. bornbyariver December 30, 2012 at 12:11 am #

    Ugh. I’m so sorry. I just miscarried at 6.5 weeks and my pregnancy yoga book on the bookshelf makes me die inside everything I see it, so I hide the binding.

    • Anna December 30, 2012 at 1:20 pm #

      I know. I had to hide my What to Expect books!

  5. Robin December 30, 2012 at 2:34 pm #

    We ordered bedding from The Land of Nod which arrived the day after I got home from the hospital. I emailed them, sent it back and thought all was taken care of. Now I get their catalogs every couple of weeks. I’m not even sure how to go about stopping them from coming, but it breaks my heart every damn time.

    • Anna December 30, 2012 at 3:40 pm #

      Aw, that makes me so sad. I have ordered a lot of things for my godkids from Land of Nod and PB Kids and I get their catalogs constantly too. And the bedding that I loved came from Land of Nod so it always upsets me when I see it, even though we didn’t order it. I wonder if there if you can just email them again and ask them to take you off their list?

  6. Hapa Hopes December 30, 2012 at 8:36 pm #

    Oh Anna, that sounds awful. Can you have someone else call and cancel it for you? Just really lay it all out there so the customer service person sees how REALLY important it is that they actually do their job and cancel the damned thing? I’m so sorry you have to get smacked with that on a regular basis.

    • Anna December 30, 2012 at 8:45 pm #

      You know, after I posted, I was thinking about that but then I wasn’t sure if they’d allow someone else to cancel it for me unless they pretended to be me. Which I guess they could do.

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