More thoughts about the group

9 Apr

Thank you all so much for your support and encouragement about starting the support group!  You make  a girl feel like a rock star instead of someone who just filled out some papers and talked to a few people.

I’m very excited to be starting this group.  It’s definitely not something I was planning on doing.  I was really just looking for a group to join.  Once I started the process, though, I started to get really excited about the prospect of it.  I sought help in this community.  I started this blog more for myself than anything else and discovered something else.  I discovered the world of infertility blogs and more and more, my blog turned into an infertility blog.  After I lost my baby, there were days where I did nothing but search for new baby loss blogs and read over the comments people had sent me over and over again.  It was the only way I could go on. It was my only way to cope.  I have taken so much from this community.

This group is going to be a little different from what I imagined.  When I initially thought of starting this group, I was looking at it as a way for me to get support during the waiting period.  After going through the training, I realize that as a group leader, that won’t be my role.  I will be the moderator of the discussion.  This isn’t going to be about me.  It’s going to be about the people who come to the group looking for support.

At first, I was put off.  That isn’t what I was looking for!  I wanted people to help me and to support me.  At some point, I realized though, that I don’t really need that any more.  All this time, I’ve been looking for this support group and now I’m working on my profile book and almost in the books and starting the wait and I realized that I’m doing okay.  I’ve learned the new language.  I feel comfortable in this world now.  I know that the wait will be tough and I will need to fill my time not to focus on it but I know that at the end of this, I am going to bring home a baby.  There is no way that won’t happen.  As long as I stay in the program, I WILL be bringing home a baby.  I feel okay. This group doesn’t have to be about me.  This is my way of giving back to the community that helped me when I was at my lowest.

So, I have read the manual from cover to cover.  More than once.  I like to be thorough.  I have two ideas for a location to host the group and I’m going to check them out this week.  Then I’m going to create a new gmail address, fill out my forms and hope to have the group up and running by the end of the month.

My biggest fear is that no one will come.  It’s like that fear you have when you’re throwing a party and waiting for the RSVPs to come rolling in and realizing that only about 3 people are coming.  That is what I’m afraid of happening here. The person I spoke with said in the beginning, it might be small but it will grow.  I sure hope so.


22 Responses to “More thoughts about the group”

  1. FCblacksheep April 9, 2013 at 8:29 pm #

    What’s happening? I should probably read the last post before leaving a comment. You’re starting a support group? Oh let me read. It will grow! They will come!

    • Anna April 9, 2013 at 8:30 pm #

      This made me laugh out loud. This is totally me when I walk into a conversation in progress and want to be caught up!

      • FCblacksheep April 9, 2013 at 8:33 pm #

        Ha ha! It just sounded so exciting. And it is. I think it’ll be great.

    • chon April 9, 2013 at 9:44 pm #

      get with the conversation girlfriend!!

  2. Brooke April 9, 2013 at 9:56 pm #

    I would be nervous about numbers and attendance of the group also. But even if one person comes, that’s a group. And you’re helping that person. And that’s what matters. I think it’s awesome that you’re taking this on.

    • Anna April 10, 2013 at 5:20 pm #

      That’s true. The person I spoke with said that her first month just one person came but then it grew quickly after that. Thanks for the support!

  3. SM April 9, 2013 at 11:17 pm #

    Even just one person will make it worthwhile! A bigger group isn’t necessarily a good thing. Small groups can be more intimate and supportive. It will be awesome! I can feel it!

    • Anna April 10, 2013 at 5:25 pm #

      Thanks, they actually recommend the group stay pretty small. If it starts to get bigger than 10-12 people, they recommend you split it into groups.

  4. chon April 10, 2013 at 6:37 am #

    You know you always think no one will show up and then boom they all arrive at once 😉

    • Anna April 10, 2013 at 5:26 pm #

      Fingers crossed.

  5. Cindy April 10, 2013 at 7:51 am #

    I think it’s awesome that you took the initiative to start a group. Even if only one person comes, it will make a difference to them. But you’ll probably have a nice little group.

    • Anna April 10, 2013 at 5:27 pm #

      I hope so! Thanks for the support.

  6. Alicia April 10, 2013 at 3:03 pm #

    Totally awesome. You know what? You will probably find a ton of self-healing through the mentor role… you’ve been through so much and come so far; it will be really helpful to other families to see that there is light at the end of this long, lonely, dark tunnel. The group members are very lucky to have you help them through this time.

    • Anna April 10, 2013 at 5:34 pm #

      Yes! I thought that too and I’m hoping that is the case.

  7. ladyblogalot April 10, 2013 at 8:17 pm #

    it will probably get bigger as people start talking about it and going, so it may start small and then grow. Are you letting local fertility clinics and GP’s know about it? they might like to recommend it.

    • Anna April 10, 2013 at 8:46 pm #

      That’s a good idea. Although I know from experience my that my former clinic would not be likely to recommend anything regarding adoption as it drives away business. Sad but true!

  8. Elizabeth :: Bébé Suisse April 12, 2013 at 7:59 am #

    You are a rock star! Good on you for identifying a gap in the support system and then finding a way to fill it. You’ll be a great leader. And they will come!

    • Anna April 12, 2013 at 5:19 pm #

      Thank you!

  9. Robin April 17, 2013 at 3:12 pm #

    So, I’m just catching up on blogs myself. I have to tell you though that I’m so damn proud of you! You are totally amazing. I wish I lived closer, I’d totally attend your support group…and I’m sure eventually tons of people will show up!

    • Anna April 19, 2013 at 6:13 pm #

      Thanks! I hope so!

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