Stalling

18 Apr

I keep getting bursts of energy and then stalling.  It’s like a small hiccup completely derails me. I have energy and enthusiasm for things and then something small happens, someone says the wrong thing, and it’s over.  I’m feeling deflated, defeated and derailed.

How do I keep the momentum?  How do I keep plugging away when I’m so easily put off?  The following things have set me off course:

  1. Surprise pregnancy announcement in real life that I’m not supposed to know about yet
  2. Surprise Facebook pregnancy announcement complete with belly shots and ridiculous captions and poses
  3. Not hearing back from one location about the support group
  4. A baby shower like event
  5. A bad dream about work
  6. An overly busy work day

Sure, these aren’t great things but they’re hardly things that should set me completely off course, even when taken all together.  There are days when I am strong and things that normally brought me to tears don’t even faze me.  Then there are days when any little thing breaks my heart into teeny tiny pieces.  There is no rhyme or reason to this.  I just hate feeling stalled.

 

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4 Responses to “Stalling”

  1. Robin April 19, 2013 at 10:16 am #

    Oh Anna, I’m so sorry. I had to deactivate my Facebook account because I just couldn’t take it anymore. It’s like every time someone posts about their pregnancy or child, I take it as a personal dig because my son died. Also, I can’t understand why they think they’re immune from something like this happening to them. My friend Dayna, wrote a post about Facebook that I really liked, if you’re interested (http://daynawebb.wordpress.com/2013/04/07/dear-facebook/). Anyway, I feel your pain. Sometimes I just feel like the timing of everything surrounding Miles’ death has been so, so cruel.

    • Anna April 19, 2013 at 6:15 pm #

      Hey there- sorry I haven’t emailed in a while! I can totally understand why you’d deactivate your account. There are days I consider it myself. Will email you soon – want to see how you’re doing!

  2. Alicia April 21, 2013 at 11:44 am #

    My only advice – ride the rollercoaster and feel sad when you need to. Any one of those shitty things are enough to send a person spinning, let alone all of them combined.

    • Anna April 23, 2013 at 5:33 pm #

      I don’t know. I feel like I used to be able to deal better, ya know?

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